sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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