either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
