He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
