there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
