Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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