If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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