I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
