I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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