After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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