I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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