Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
