I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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