Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
