All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
