we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
