I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
