it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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