I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
