it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
