I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
