Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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