i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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