He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
