You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
