Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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