brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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