Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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