i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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