Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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