let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
