i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
