I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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