worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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