Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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