There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
