im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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