AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
