I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
