he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
