I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
