I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
