Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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