Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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