All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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