we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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