Who did Billy Mays play for?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
