ugly people sure do ruin things
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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