I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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