I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
