College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
