I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Shame - the story of my life.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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