Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
