Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
